Using Worry Time to Help Children & Young Adults Manage Anxiety and Stress
Don’t worry about this, don’t worry about that, don’t be silly there’s nothing to worry about. How many times have you heard this or said this?
We all worry about things, and worry has a really important function in our brains. Our worries are important.
We might worry about an exam or how we look and worrying can lead to problem solving. We might make sure we revise properly or make sure our hair is neat and clothes are tidy. So worry can help to calm the brain.
Sometimes though, we can over worry about a problem and this is when worry becomes problematic.
Worry happens in the mind. It is the cognitive part of anxiety. Stress happens in the body and anxiety happens in both the mind and body and they are all linked. If we can help people, and especially young people, to effectively manage their worries it will have a really big impact on their ability to positively manage stress and anxiety for the rest of their lives.
What is Worry Time?
Worry time is a very simple technique where instead of letting worries take over your whole day, you write your worries down when they pop up and then schedule time in the day to focus on them. That way you can stay present and know that there’s a time and space where you can manage your worries later. It’s important that this space is neutral and definitely not a bedroom as then that can then become associated with worry.
How to Use Worry Time with Young People
You can schedule a regular time every day for this, but with my kids, I just tell them if you have any worries during the day, write them down and try to put them aside if you can and focus on something else. When you get home tell me ‘Daddy can we have some worry time?’ And then we’ll have a special time together to sort them out. Even just something as simple as this can be a nice way of letting a young person know that they are important, their worries are important, that you care about both them and their worries and there is help.
Resources to Help With Worry
The NHS have an excellent page on tackling your worries with really good resources on worry time, including the worry tree, how to reframe your thoughts and mindful breathing
Young Minds have a worry box for primary aged children (but can also be useful for teenagers) which is a physical box you can decorate where young people can write their worries down and then post them into the box. This way they can have a physical way of getting rid of their worries which is a really tangible way they can feel they don’t have to carry them around with them. It can help them to feel safer as it is holding their thoughts and shows that thoughts are just thoughts.
Along with a worry box some children might want to make another box where they can keep positive thoughts where they can write down and keep their happy things.
A worry box is similar to a self soothing box which is also an excellent way to manage anxiety.
Oxford Camhs has a really good downloadable worry time sheet which details worry time and includes the worry tree. I really like the way they go into detail about problem solving. Getting you to think about 5 possible solutions, picking one and then taking action on it.
For those working with younger children ELSA support has a free downloadable worry tree which is really nice.
Worry dolls (which originate from Guatemala) can be very useful. Your child tells the doll their worry and then the doll takes that worry and then looks after it for them. There are often 5 or 6 of these so if the child has several worries a different doll can hold each of them. This then allows the child to focus on other things such as sleep or play etc.
Worry eaters can also be useful and work in a similar way, the child writes down their worry and pops it into the worry eaters mouth. With both of these, it’s important the child says their worry out loud so the adult knows what’s worrying the child.
You don’t have to buy worry dolls or worry eaters (sometimes called worry monsters) although you can. Why not combine art with mindfulness and make your own with the young person you’re supporting?
Do worry about this, do worry about that, it’s ok to worry about things but do learn to manage your worries, they don’t have to take over your life.